she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
