I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
