Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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