I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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