There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
