I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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