I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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