I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
