If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize