I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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