I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize