I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize