it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just puked most of my soul out..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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