u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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