With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
