He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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