Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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