its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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