I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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