She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
