Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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