I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
