They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
