Pants 0. Shit 1.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
