You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
