I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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