Christians are straight up FREAKS
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize