i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
