Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
