do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
