you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
