i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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