he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
