Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
