Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
only you would photoshop your dick
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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