Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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