So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
