i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
