im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
