So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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