Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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