So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
