what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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