She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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