Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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