I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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