Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize