I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
