He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize