Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
