yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize