Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
