literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
