how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
