Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize