HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm passing your future prison.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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