spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
