i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
