I'm drive I can fine osifer
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
