I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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