Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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