normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
