You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
