Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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