I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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