I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
