We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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