dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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