At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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