i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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