no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
