who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
