So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Fuck appropriateness.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
