whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
