Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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