1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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